This post contains my personal notes from the book: Fearless by Brenda Shosanna.
HOW TO MEET FEAR FACE TO FACE
Realize that if you don’t believe the message or the messenger, fear will not appear. It is not the news you hear but the way you react to it – the fear you feel – that immobilizes.
Stop: Whenever a message is fraught with fear, reject it immediately. Even if you think it might be true, reject it because you do not have the full use of your faculties when you are in the grip of fear. Wait until the fear has vanished to decide if it is true. When you reject the message, your fear will subside and your thoughts will become clearer. There is plenty of time later on to determine if the message is true. ( Most of the time it isn’t.)
Stop for a moment and see fear as a bully. See yourself running away from it. Now take a moment to stop running and to turn around. That’s all you need to do at this moment. Just stop and turn around. A bully takes its strength from your flight and from your fear and anguish. Just by not escaping, not running away, you are stopping fear in its tracks and taking away its steam. Why is it so hard to stand still?
Stand still and see where fear comes from. See yourself unwilling to flee from the fear you are feeling. Let it know you refuse to run. What happens to the fear as you do so?
Do it now. There is always some action that you can take now, however small, from which you will learn and grow more confident. When you do that, fear has no space or time to grow strong. Fear grows in empty spaces, while you are waiting, imagining, hoping and planning.
Think of a lie fear told you that you believed and clung to mercilessly. Just realize now it was a lie. When you realize that, what happens to the fear? Now think of another lie. Do the same with that.
Watch the fear arise and feel it. Listen to the fear. Do not allow the fear to stop your activities.
When a catastrophic expectation arises – ask yourself: What is actually happening right now? Can I focus upon what’s actually happening and not what I’m imagining? Choose to dwell on positive possibilities. The choice is yours.
Pay attention to a moment of love, and then to another moment of love. Whatever you pay attention to in your life increases and intensifies.
THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OF PEACE OF MIND
- You need to have the courage to be who you truly are and not pretend to be something you are not. Your life is a precious gift to you and to the world. No person, no thought, no emotion is granted dominion over you. You have ultimate power to choose the direction in which you want to go.
- Let go of attachment and grasping. Recognize the fleeting nature of life. Make peace with it. Spend time watching changes that take place naturally, and embrace the beauty within these changes. See how each change brings something new. Enjoy change. Let go of expectations.
- Recognize the voices within. There are no mistakes, there’s only what happens. Let go of fantasies, the fear of being wrong or making a mistake. Success or failure depends on how you view it. You need to act to grow. You may fall and that is okay. Falling and getting up is also growing.
- Reality is reality. How you react to what happens is all what matters. We get upset when we want something and cannot have it, when you have something and fear losing it, you hear a negative comment about yourself, you can’t get enough of what you want, you long for conditions to be different and when pain comes for no reason. Realise that all this is based on your expectations and letting go of them creates peace.
- Bless others. Love others. Forgive others.
- Let go and make room for the good that is to come. As you let go, what you really need will come. You life will be peaceful and be filled with the gifts the universe has in store for you.
- Become a friend to everybody. Acknowledge others. Never give up on a person. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Let others be right. Stop casting blame. Let go of resentment. Give up unrealistic hopes and expectations. Become clear about appropriate and inappropriate demands. Ask for your needs to be met. Allow yourself to succeed. Turn a competitor into a friend. Remember that each of us is born with our own particular gifts and strengths.
Take the time to be alone. Be quiet turn within. Be aware of your breath. If thoughts come, let them come and let them go. Be mindful of the breath. Accept what is happening. Accept yourself. Accept others. Choose love and goodness and peace for others and for yourself. Then you will see that peace happens.